


Son of a Preacher Man

by BrokenHeartedAngels



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Confessions, First Time, Homophobic Language, Humanstuck, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Rough Sex, kanaya maryam is mentioned - Freeform, kankri is a holy boy but like not actually, kinda lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23397781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenHeartedAngels/pseuds/BrokenHeartedAngels
Summary: Kankri is proud to be the son of the local pastor, a man who's kindness knows no bounds. He is devout, but his ideals are shaken when confronted with someone who makes his resolve weaken.
Relationships: Cronus Ampora/Kankri Vantas
Comments: 12
Kudos: 127





	Son of a Preacher Man

**Author's Note:**

> TW: religion, (internalized) homophobia 
> 
> there arent enough Cronkri fics, so i guess i have to resort to writing my own :/ also i was raised Catholic, so if any people raised Protestant are like "that's not how we view the Bible" then oopsie doopsie!!  
> forgive any typos, i wrote this on my phone after not sleeping all night lol  
> i hope u enjoy!

"She doesn't even ask for my permission before she just goes into my room and takes my--that I paid for--fabric scissors. It's not that I mind sharing them, but at least just ask me beforehand. I am a very generous person and I just turned purple and Johnny Cash is my father and you aren't listening to me, are you, Kankri?"

Kankri looked up from his book. He gave a small shake of his head. "No, I have been paying attention this whole time. I just find this issue to be incredibly vapid."

Porrim couldn't help laughing at that. "You are such an asshole."

Kankri smiled humorlessly at her before returning to his book, not even gracing her statement with a proper response. 

It was their usual routine. Porrim would drag Kankri to whatever secluded location she could find and subject him to her endless complaints. He had soon grown tired of listening to her yapping on and on about whatever she found to be important. Yet, he still allowed himself to be tugged along and listened to her, anyway.

It was so sweet, he could roll his eyes.

Porrim nudged him and gestured for him to come help her. He stood up, tucking his book under his arm as he combed the loose hairs Porrim missed into her hand. With an easy twist, she had her hair up in a neat bun. She fussed with the loose strands to make it look casual enough for her taste.

Kankri watched her curiously. So much effort to look like you put in none. That was something he could never understand.

A soft sigh escaped him as he returned to his seat and opened his book once more. Porrim sat down next to him. She leaned into his personal space, annoyingly, but he chose not to comment on it this time. "What drivel are you reading this time?" She sounded bored already.

"Your blatant rudeness aside, I am reading  _Everything That Rises Must Converge_. It is not drivel, it is a beautifully written work that touches on a multitude of important issues, most notably the hypocrisy of some of those who claim to be enlightened and liberal."

There was a moment of silence. "Kanny, don't you think that might be--"

"Might be what, Porrim?" His expression was cold as he looked over at her.

Not wanting another fight, she held up her hands. "Nothing, nothing. Just pretend I didn't say anything."

Kankri snorted. "Yes, that is usually what I do."

Porrim gasped at his statement. "You little--" She hooked her arm around his neck and started grinding her knuckles against the top of his head. Despite his desperate attempts to get away and a litany of curses, Kankri could not escape her onslaught. 

Porrim just laughed at his feeble attempts

\---

Karkat was already standing by his locker by the time Kankri left class. His arms were crossed over his chest and his face was in its usual scowl. 

Kankri didn't spare him a glance as he opened his locker and began exchanging his books. He could feel the heat from Karkat's stare burning a hole through his face.

Seemingly growing inpatient, Karkat snapped, "Stop fucking ignoring me, dickweed."

Kankri chuckled softly. "I have not heard that in some time. Running out of insults?"

"Oh, ha ha ha. You're very funny, you know that?"

He smiled sweetly. "I am glad to hear you think so. I assume you need something since you went through the trouble of waiting by my locker."

Karkat straightened up, his expression relaxing some. "I need a favor. Can you cover my ass with dad tonight?"

Kankri pursed his lips tightly. He returned his focus to his locker. This wasn't the first time Karkat had asked this of him. "Where will you be?"

"I don't know why that's any of your business."

The locker closed with a click. Kankri turned to face his brother. "If I am doing you this favor, you could at least tell me where you'll be. I don't believe that is asking that much of you."

Karkat looked away. His face flushed a dark shade of red. Kankri's expression soured as he realized. When Karkat met his gaze, he puffed out his chest and lifted his chin in defiance. "Dave's."

Kankri said nothing in response. There was nothing to say. Karkat had made his decision to go down that path, and Kankri was sad to see him fall prey to sin. But, he was his brother and he seemed...happy. His stomach twisted in a feeling akin to jealousy. He quickly shoved that down and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. I will find some excuse for you, but Father will not be pleased. This will be the third week you have missed service." Kankri reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind his brother's ear, but his hand was quickly smacked away. He couldn't hide his look of hurt. "I am worried about you, Karkat. That is all."

Karkat snorted. He crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "Whatever," he grumbled. "Thanks." He turned away and quickly walked in the opposite direction. Kankri watched him leave, a sadness settling over him. 

He wasn't sure what was wrong with that boy. 

Sighing, he tucked the textbooks he was holding into his bag. He took a moment to appropriately adjust the straps to accommodate the new weight before replacing it on his back. It knocked the breath out of him for a moment.

He dreaded thinking about the hours of homework he had waiting for him. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Porrim texted him to turn around, so he did. She and her younger sister, Kanaya, waved at him. He smiled and returned it before walking over to them.

"It has been far too long, Kankri," Kanaya said, her warm smile making her face glow. He supposed that was a familial trait as Porrim's smile did just the same. 

Kankri nodded. "It's good to see you, as well, Kanaya."

"This is very sweet and my heart is just breaking over here, but can we leave now? I have a dress I need to finish."

"Yes, I have been meaning to talk to you about your rather bold choices..."

"Don't make me cut up all your skirts, Naya, I'll do it."

Kanaya opened her mouth for a snarky retort but closed it again. Porrim shook her head. 

The Vantas and Maryams had grown up together, spending hours upon hours playing together as children. Porrim had stolen Kankri's first kiss at the age of 8, which lead to Kankri throwing the biggest tantrum either set of parents had ever seen. Porrim liked to remind Kankri of it, something he did not care much for. 

They were grateful for the pleasant weather after a week straight of rain. The three of them chatted idly as they walked home. Kankri and Kanaya took the time to catch up with one another. He always found her to be more agreeable than Porrim--not that he would ever tell her that lest he had a death wish.

They waved goodbye to Kankri as they climbed up the stairs to their home. It stood out against all the other customary suburban homes in the neighborhood. It was larger than life and even more dramatic in design. Aunt Rosa, as she insisted on being called, was certainly a character. Modesty and subtlety were not words in her vocabulary.

The Vantas house, in comparison, was a shack. It was small and dull and overtly modest, almost as if it were making a point about it. Perhaps it was.

His father called out a greeting as he entered. Kankri walked into the kitchen to see the disaster his father had made. The floor was dusted with flour while the table had a pool of some unknown liquid and egg shells strewn about. Kankri's heavy sigh alerted his father to his presence.

His smile was soft, crinkling his eyes into deep grooves from all the smiling he did. Kankri dreaded the day his eyes had such deep lines. A shudder overcame him at the thought.

"Don't judge me too harshly, I'm still learning."

"No judgement, Father. Merely...an observation of the current situation."

His father crinkled his nose at him. "You always say things in such funny ways."

Kankri blinked at that, unsure of how to respond. "What's the occasion?"

He was met with a shrug. "Can't a man bake a cake for his sons just because?"

Kankri gave a shrug of his own. "I suppose he very well could." He gave one last glance around the room before leaving. His homework was quite literally weighing him down, so he may as well spend the few hours before service getting through it. 

In reality, it took him no more than an hour to complete his work, leaving him plenty of time to spend as he wished. Naturally, he returned to his book. This would be his third time reading it, and yet he never grew tired of those same words in the same order on the same page. Karkat barely had the patience to get through it once, claiming it to be pretentious swill. Kankri had given him an extra long lecture on the importance of its message and how one should not merely enjoy the brain dead romantic comedies that were pumped out of Hollywood every five minutes.

Karkat simply did not understand taste, it seemed.

And he still didn't know what he would say to their father when he inevitably asked here he was. Kankri closed his eyes. He was running out of excuses and he couldn't endure lying to their father for much longer. 

Eventually, they would both have to face the music.

Kankri snapped his book closed, unable to focus on it. He placed it nearly on his bedside table. Sitting up, Kankri glanced over to Karkat's side of the room. It was messy, his bed was unmade, and his clothes were tossed every which way. How could he stand living like that? 

Kankri walked over and started neatening up. He was certain to get an earful later when Karkat returned, yelling at him to not touch his things. Ridiculous, he should be thanking him for keeping his mess somewhat under control.

There was no convincing children, it seemed.

His watch beeped. He tapped it to turn it off. One hour before he and his father would head over to the church. One hour to come up with yet another lie to force feed their poor father. Would he even believe him?

Perhaps he could hide the truth within the truth. He and Dave had been close friends for years, it wouldn't be abnormal for them to spend time together...

Shaking his head, Kankri tugged his sweater over his head. He tossed it into the hamper and plucked a new one from his drawer. While the ones he wore to school were disgustingly bright and obnoxious (courtesy of Porrim solely to piss him off), his church sweaters were muted. It was unbecoming to stand out in a house of God, after all.

Not that many of the patrons kept that in mind.

With his teeth brushed and hair neatly combed, he headed downstairs and into the kitchen. It was back to its original clean state, now with the addition of an extremely poorly decorated cake cooling in the center of the table. His father beamed proudly when he entered. "Not too bad, right?"

Kankri raised an eyebrow at it. "Appetizing."

His father clicked his tongue. "You and your snarky remarks." His tone was affectionate and smile was soft as he looked at his son. Kankri flushed under it. He treated him as if he were still a toddler, it was embarrassing.

"I am ready to leave when you are."

The pastor drained the rest of his drink and placed it neatly in the sink, along with the other pile of dishes. Kankri slumped at the thought of having to wash all of them.

The sound of his father's keys shook him from his thoughts and he quickly followed him to the car.

He was whistling casually, tossing the keys up into the air and catching them effortlessly. Kankri slid into the passenger seat. The car roared to life as the key was turned. They pulled out and headed to the church.

The pair sat in silence aside from the soft music coming from the radio and the occasional comment from his father about animals they passed.

Kankri looked out the window, watching as the landscape around then whizzed by. The sun setting behind the soft slope of the hills never failed to take Kankri's breath away.

"So," came his father, "Karkat MIA again?"

Kankri tensed up for just a moment. "Yes, he told me that he and Dave had a project they had to do. I suppose they left it to the last possible moment, though that comes as no surprise."

The other glanced over at him. "C'mon, sweetie, don't say that about your brother."

"Father, I have kindly asked you not to use such pet names when referring to me, it is incredibly demeaning."

He smiled tiredly at Kankri. "You're right, I'm sorry."

They lapsed into silence once more. It wasn't long before they were pulling into their assigned parking spot. His father cut the engine and got out of the car, Kankri following suit.

A small group of people were standing in a circle, talking to one another when they noticed the pastor's arrival. They called him over. "Go on ahead without me, I'll catch up."

Kankri watched his father make his way over to the group and give everyone a hug and kiss on the cheek. They all glowed, happy just to see him. Kankri flushed angrily. No one looked at him like that.

Kankri huffed out a breath. He went inside, quickly walking up to the front row and sitting dead center. It was the spot he always sat when his father preached. People always left that spot empty for him, as well as the one next to him for Karkat. The past few weeks had seen that spot stay open the entire time, and this week was no exception.

The church was a small building, but it was full every time. The people really seemed to adore his father.

Soon, everyone had found a seat. Save for Karkat's spot, not a single space was left empty. The pastor stood at the pulpit, preaching about Jesus's message to help the sick and needy, to give and give until you have nothing to give. It was a message that resonated with almost any person you asked, but his father had a way of making it feel all the more powerful.

Kankri was certain his father had the passion the Lord himself had when he, too, preached those words.

At the end of the service, everyone joined hands in prayer. Kankri listened to the sounds of everyone breathing as one, his father reading from the Holy Book, his own heart beating steady in his chest. This was his favorite part, every time. His hands tingled from the sensation of holding another's and feeling their warmth and energy sapping into his own. 

In those moments, he felt truly connected.

The service had ended and everyone returned home. Kankri stayed behind to neaten the pews while his father worked on his sermon for the following day in his office. It would be a good hour before he even heard from him, giving Kankri a little breathing room to take his time and make sure everything was neat.

He just finished half of the room when the sound of approaching footsteps made him jump. He twirled around, hand over his chest as he looked at who surprised him.

An attractive, toothy grin flashed. "Heya, chief. Sorry to startle ya there." Cronus rubbed the back of his neck apologetically.

Kankri's heart skipped a beat in a way that scared him. Schooling his features, he dropped his hand. Something about the mischievous glint in the other's eye told him Cronus wasn't all that sorry. "Hello, Cronus. May I help you with something?"

Cronus shrugged his shoulders. "Not really."

Kankri arched an eyebrow. "Then why are you here?"

"Can't a guy come say hi to his friend?"

"We're friends?"

"Oof, ouch, Kan." Cronus clutched his chest in mock pain. "Ya really know how to gut a guy, dontcha?"

Kankri rolled his eyes, not bothering to dignify that with a response. He pushed past Cronus to the other half of the pews and began working. Cronus followed after him, walking on the opposite side of the seat.

"Whaaaat, ya not gonna talk to me? We're buddies!" 

Kankri sharply exhaled. "Yes, Cronus, we're friends." That seemed to make Cronus beam twice as bright, practically glowing. Kankri quickly averted his eyes as his cheeks burned. "Now, why are you here? You expect me to believe it's just to talk?"

Cronus looked away guiltily. Just as Kankri had expected. "Ight, ya caught me. I do have another reason to be here, but it ain't malicious!"

Kankri crossed his arms. "Pray tell."

"Uhhh," Cronus said, his eyes darting around the room as if he were looking for inspiration. Kankri's heart strangely fluttered at the sight. "Well, it's just...word on the street is that ya little bro is batting for another team, if ya catch my drift."

And, like that, his heart stopped. Kankri stared at the other. He had to resist the flush that threatened to turn him the color of a tomato. "Where did you hear that," he hissed.

Cronus blinked in surprise. "Er, from Eridan."

Kankri walked out of the pew and around the Cronus. He pointed a finger at him. "You do not speak of that. And tell your own brother to keep his mouth shut, as well. It is neither of your business what....t-team my brother is on. Why do you even care? Is that really all you came here to say to me!?" 

The other raised his hands up defensively. "Hey, whoa there. Let's keep calm here, shall we? It was just a question, Kanny, didn't mean anything by it."

Kankri's shoulders slowly relaxed. He had overreacted, he knew. But hearing rumors being spread about his brother, whether they were true or not, was not something he could tolerate. 

He returned to his work, an awkward silence stretching between them. Cronus nervously chewed on the end of his toothpick, hands shoved into his pockets. He looked around at the stained glass for something to do other than just watching Kankri. 

He glanced down at him. The moonlight filled the room with an array of colors as it poured in through the windows. The way the light cut across Kankri's face was mesmerizing. Cronus didn't even realize he had started to lean towards him until the wood of the pew creaked beneath his weight. "You're so pretty," he whispered, adoration practically pouring from him. Kankri's head shot up.

Uh oh.

Kankri turned bright red, eyebrows furrowing into the same scowl Karkat always had on, only it was a lot scarier on Kankri. Cronus chuckled nervously as he backed up.

Kankri was now angrily shoving the books into their places, leaving things less neat than he usually liked. Steam was practically coming out of his ears.

"I-I didn't mean--"

"Shut the fuck up," Kankri spat. He slammed a book on the ground, it's sound amplified by the emptiness of the room. He walked back around to stand face to face with Cronus who stood stock still, petrified. "If you ever insinuate I am anything like....like  that  again, I am not sure what I will do, but it will not be pleasant for you."

"K-Kanny, I wasn't! I'm sorry! I didn't--"

"I don't care! I am nothing like you, filth." Cronus visibly flinched at that, tears coming to his eyes. Kankri's heart tugged at the sight. He wanted to comfort him, to take it back and....he didn't allow himself to finish that thought.

"Kankri, I'm sorry I upset you." He reached out to Kankri--more specifically, his face.

All Kankri could see was red.

Next thing he knew, Cronus was flat on his ass, groaning and clutching his nose. Kankri blinked in surprise. The few drops of blood on Cronus's shirt and Kankri's tight fist was all he needed to put two and two together.

And, like a coward, he turned heel and fled.

\--

Kankri had been crying for hours by the time Karkat got home. Usually, he would be annoyed at his brother for being so loud. Something about the way he was heaving, however, gave him pause. 

Something in him wanted to walk over and comfort him. Something else told him to give him space.

Silently, he placed a glass of water on Kankri's bedside table and went to sleep. Luckily, he was a deep sleeper.

Kankri, on the other hand, couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard he tried. Every time he closed his eyes, he just saw the look of hurt on Cronus's face and blood all over his shirt.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to scrub it from his memory. Why should he feel badly? He was talking to him and trying to touch him as if he were one of  them.

His stomach ached at the thought, as it always did when he said those things. He hated that his own body was denying the truth. And his body hated him for denying his truth.

Kankri reached under his bed to grab a shoe box he had kept there since middle school. Rifling around, he found what he was looking for. 

It was a note Cronus gave to him some time their seventh year. His handwriting was chicken scratch and Kankri could barely make out any of the words, but just being given it had made his heart rush. It even smelled like him.

Not anymore. After years of being taken out of the box numerous times, it had long lost the scent. The paper was crumbled and thin, some of the words faded and washed out from the tears Kankri cried onto it every time he read it. 

'I like you'

Reading those words for the first time had made something in his stomach stir, in a good way. At the time, he thought Cronus had just meant it in a platonic way. Now, Kankri realized it had been a confession. More of his tears spilled onto the paper. The crude drawing Cronus had made of them holding hands still smiled up at him, untouched.

Kankri closed his eyes. "Oh, Lord," he whispered into the silence, "I am in conflict with myself, and I seek your guidance. What is right? Am i broken or...." His voice trailed off before he broke down into sobs again. 

Just when he thought he had conquered these feelings, had come to terms with this disease and rid himself of it, Cronus came in like a whirlwind, smiling at him and making him feel seen for the first time, and ruined everything.

This was all his fault.

Kankri neatly put note back into the shoebox and returned it to its position under his bed. 

He rolled over, staring up at the ceiling. His eyes fell closed, tired from crying. Soon, he found himself slowly drifting. Before he fell asleep, he prayed for one thing: a sign.

\---

Kankri stood over the stove, flipping a few fried eggs over to cook. The toast popped, causing him to jump. His eyes were still puffy from his night of crying. He woke up with no more answers and twice the questions he went to sleep with.

He neatly placed two eggs on each plate with a slice of buttered toast. He was about to turn around to put them on the table when a pair of heavy hands landed on his shoulders. The soft press of a kiss to the crown of his head indicated his father. 

He wrapped his arms around Kankri, squeezing him tight. "Oh, my baby boy." K ankri scowled but said nothing. He felt his father stand back. "Are you okay?"

Kankri picked up the plates and brought them to the table. "I'm fine." He quickly turned to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice. His father placed a hand on his arm. Kankri looked up at him, a look of genuine concern coloring his features. "You always say something when I call you pet names."

Kankri sighed. "And yet you persist."

"Kankri, don't deflect."

Kankri puffed up. He was not defl--okay, so he was deflecting. 

He placed the jug onto the table. "It's early, Father. I am just tired. Nothing else."

His father didn't look convinced. He walked over to Kankri and placed his hands on his arms. "My son, you can talk to me about anything."

"I have already spoken with the Lord."

He laughed. "Yes, and while the Lord is a great conversationalist, sometimes it's okay to talk to me." He brushed Kankri's hair out of his face, thumb wiping away a tear he didn't know was there.

Kankri inhaled a shuttering breath before breaking down into tears. Strong, warm arms wrapped around him as his father pulled him close. He couldn't understand what he was saying to him, but his voice was low and soft. It reminded him of how he would speak to Kankri when he would have nightmares. 

He shook with each heaving sob, undoubtedly wetting the front of the other's shirt. All his father did was hold him close and allowed him to cry as much as he needed.

He helped him sit down. He pulled up a chair next to him and held out a glass of juice for him. Kankri gratefully gulped it down. As his father poured him another glass, he scrubbed away the tears. His face flushed from embarrassment. How could he be so pathetic? 

The pastor handed him another glass of juice which he drank slower this time. His father rubbed small, soothing circles in his back. 

When Kankri was finished, he set the glass down. There was a moment of silence, father and son sitting across from one another, looking at each other, waiting for the someone to initiate. 

His father smiled gently, taking the hint, and scooted closer. "What's wrong?"

Kankri looked away. His lip wobbled from the effort of holding in his tears. Despite his best try, a few leaked through. "I have been....conflicted." He chewed his lip. His father remained silent, allowing him to take his time. "For many years, I have had...feelings that are unnatural. Feelings about people that are forbidden."

Suddenly, his father was turning his face to look at him. "What are you talking about?"

Kankri tried his best to not breakdown. He really did. He doubled over, crying in agony. His father was going to be repulsed by him, as he was repulsed with himself. He would recoil from him and condemn him. It's what he deserved. 

His father was holding him again, squeezing him tightly. He whispered "it's okay" over and over, shushing him. 

"L-Leviticus 18," he finally managed. 

"What?"

Kankri inhaled slowly then looked up at his father. "'Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.'"

"Kankri, what are you--"

Kankri grabbed fistfuls of his hair. "I'M GAY!"

Silence.

Kankri held his hand over his mouth, muffling his pathetic pained noises. His tears left hot trails on his cheeks. He wouldn't be surprised if they left burns behind.

Gentle hands were lifting his face. His father came into view and his face wasn't...angry. He wasn't upset. He was smiling at him, tears of his own in his eyes. "I know."

Now it was Kankri's turn to sit in shocked silence.

"I've always known, my love." He pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I am so sorry if I ever led you to believe that I would not love you for being who you are. I am so sorry I have made you believe that feeling that way is unnatural. I am so sorry, Kankri." He was wrapped in a tight embrace once more. He felt like he was paralyzed. He couldn't even begin to process what was going on.

"What the fuck?" His voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

His father laughed. "Hey now, we already have Karkat's potty mouth, let's not add yours to the mix." He wiped away his tears. "Kankri, there is nothing wrong with you. As you are, you are my idea of perfection. Never forget that."

"But--"

A finger was pressed to his lips. And, for once, Kankri obeyed the command to be silent. "The world is not the same as it once was. Love is never an abomination." Kankri looked confused. His father looked around the room in thought. "Sometimes, the things the Bible says aren't right--"

A scandalous gasp came from Kankri.

"The god I believe in loves all and made you just as you are." He cupped his son's cheek. "Kindness is at the center of what we believe, not hate or judgement."

The words hung in the air between them. Kankri took a moment to let them soak in. His world was suddenly being toppled over, his perception of what was right yanked from underneath him.

And he was so relieved. 

Kankri sniffled, snot running down his face. His father merely laughed at him before handing him a napkin to clean himself with.

"The food's cold now..." His father erupted into hardy laughter.

"Then I guess we better eat."

\---

Kankri paced back and forth on the sidewalk. He had a million things to say and there was no way he could do this. He went to turn around and walk away, but Karkat had thought of that. On one end was Porrim and Karkat on the other, both ready to wrestle Kankri to the ground and force some sense into him. 

"You have to at least fucking apologize!" Karkat spat at him from his own bed. "You were such a fucking grade A douchebag, Dave could have--"

"Please," Porrim interjected from beside Kankri, "spare him the details of your sex life." Kankri wasn't sure what she meant by that, and he was grateful for it.

Karkat groaned and dropped the subject. Kankri was happy to have him help. His tearful apologies to his brother were hard to understand, at first. Karkat had to ask him to repeat almost every sentence. When he finally got everything out, Karkat punched him on the arm. Hard. 

"Idiot, I know. You're even more obvious than I am. Why do you think I never beat the shit out of you?"

Kankri blew his nose, wiping the snot away. This was the grossest day ever. "Thank you," he whispered. Karkat gave him an awkward but genuine hug.

He took a deep breath. The Ampora's violet door stared at him, daring him to swallow his fear and take the bull by the horns.

His thoughts were racing at a rate too fast to keep track of. There was no way anything he said was going to make sense, leaving him standing on Cronus's doorstep, rambling on for hours without any real point. And how mortifying would that be? 

He dug into his coat pocket and clutched the crumbled paper within. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, grounding himself. Taking it out to look at it briefly, Kankri's chest swelled with determination.

The doorbell rang through the impressively huge house. It was even more grandiose than the Maryams. Not that Porrim acknowledged that.

As luck would have it, Cronus opened the door. Kankri flinched at what he saw. 

Cronus smiled at him, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hey, Kankri, what's up?"

Kankri tried to swallow around the lump in his throat, but he forgot how. He stood there, staring wide-eyed at Cronus, silently panicking over not remembering how to swallow. 

"I'm....gonna close the door now--"

"Wait!" Kankri slammed his hand a little too hard against the door, causing Cronus to jump. He winced at the other's reaction. "I came to apologize."

Cronus's brow twitch ever so slightly. "You came to...apologize?" Kankri nodded. Cronus looked him up and down for a moment, skeptical. Then, he stepped back and gestured for Kankri to come in. 

The interior was even more impressive. The ceilings seemed to stretch on for miles. Everything was so clean and organized, it felt like Kankri was in heaven. 

Cronus walked past him, going deeper into the house. It took a moment, but Kankri quickly followed suit. The pair climbed up the winding set of stairs and down the hall to a door slightly ajar.

Cronus pushed it open and let Kankri go in first. His room was much closer to what Kankri expected. Music sheets and clothes littered the floor, his trash can full with takeout containers. It was oddly much more comforting than than pristine minimalism that existed outside.

Cronus closed the door behind him. Kankri turned, wringing his hands. "So," Cronus drawled, "you said you wanted to--"

"Apologize."

"Right."

Silence.

"So, are you gonna...?"

"Oh," Kankri blushed, "yes, of course. I...Cronus, there is nothing I can say that will take away what I said. And what I did to you." He looked away, unable to look Cronus in the eye anymore. "I was angry and wrong, and I am truly sorry."

Cronus was leaning against the door, idly rubbing the bandage over his nose. He smiled at Kankri. "Ya hit a lot harder than ya'd think."

Kankri looked over at the other. "T-thanks."

Cronus snorted. "Sure thing, Kan. I...I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have said what I said. You were right, it was none of my business."

They both smiled at each other. Cronus pushed off the door and walked over to Kankri. He held out his fist. "We cool?"

A small laugh erupted from Kankri. "Yes, I think we are." He bumped his own fist against Cronus's. They both just smiled at each other for a minute, relieved to have resolved that. 

Kankri looked down at his feet. "There's something else...Would you mind if we sat down?" Cronus shook his head and plopped down on his bed, patting the spot next to him. Kankri hesitantly followed suit. His skin always tingled when he was close to Cronus. It was something he had to force himself to ignore, to forget. Now, he felt like every cell in his body was being drawn to him. It was an odd sensation. 

He rubbed his arm with his hand. Unable to look at Cronus, his eyes roamed around the room. "This is something I have known, in my heart, all my life. I was scared...I didn't want to burn in Hell..."

"Hey," Cronus's voice was soft, reassuring, "it's okay, I'm right here." He placed his hand on top of Kankri's. Instead of shying away, he turned his hand and held Cronus's who raised his eyebrows, surprised by this action. Thankfully, he returned the grip, squeezing Kankri's hand tightly.

Panic began to settle over Kankri. How could he do this? How could he, suddenly, confess? After years of turning down and ignoring advances, of cruel words thrown in his face and behind his back, how could Cronus forgive him? 

In truth, he was more scared of never telling him. The feelings he ran from and allowed to turn into anger and resentment needed to said. Even if it broke his heart.

"Cronus, I like you."

Cronus's mouth dropped. A soft blush rose to his cheeks before turning into a dark shade of red. "H-holy fucking shit, chief, for real?"

Kankri nodded, his eyes squeezed shut. He knew it, Cronus was angry. In fact, he hated Kankri's guts, he was certain. Maybe this was a shitty idea.

Cronus started laughing, a giddy high-pitched sound that made Kankri's heart flutter. He blinked up at him, stunned by the reaction. He was squeezing his hand hard. If Kankri didn't know better, he would have guessed Cronus was going to break it from the sheer grip he had. 

"I like ya, too! As long as I can remember, I never stopped."

Kankri laughed, half out of pure relief and half from the joy that filled his chest like a balloon. "I know." He pulled out the note from his pocket. "I've kept this ever since you gave it to me."

Cronus took the note, looking down at how worn it was. He ran his fingers over the places where the words ran. He gasped when he saw the shitty drawing he made, untouched. He looked up at Kankri. 

And then he was kissing him. His arm wrapped around his neck, holding them close together.

He quickly pulled away. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't--"

"It's okay," Kankri breathed, "it's okay if it's you." He pressed his lips to Cronus's. He didn't have his courage and certainly didn't have his skill, yet it was heavenly. Their lips fit together neatly, as if they were designed for one another.

Who knows? Maybe they were.

Cronus was pushing Kankri back against the bed into the pile of what felt like a million pillows. It was the most comfortable place he had ever been. 

Cronus hovered over Kankri, keeping their lips locked together. He gingerly placed a hand on Kankri's arm. He felt his fingers tingle at the feeling of Kankri's skin. It was so soft and perfect and god he adored Kankri.

Kankri wrapped his arms around Cronus' neck, holding him close. He couldn't suppress his smile if he wanted to, which he didn't. He wanted Cronus to know how happy he was.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against Cronus's lips.

Cronus hushed him with another kiss. "It's okay, it's in the past. We can talk more later." He tucked the other's hair behind his ear. 

Kankri covered his face out of embarrassment from the attention. Cronus laughed, trying to peel them away. Kankri was much stronger than he looked--just look at his nose. It ached from being bumped into while they kissed, not that he would tell Kankri. He'd only want to stop, and Cronus didn't want this moment to ever end.

Once he managed to convince Kankri to put his hands down, he was cupping his face and kissing him again. It was deeper and slower this time. Kankri's fingers curled around his wrist. They held each other in place, daring the other to move away first.

Eventually, they pulled back to take a few deep breaths. Kankri looked up at Cronus who looked back down at Kankri, his hair splayed around him in a black halo. "Angel," he breathed.

Kankri smirked. "Incorrect." He curled his finger in the collar of Cronus's shirt and tugged him down, latching onto the side of Cronus' neck. 

A surprised sound left him. He hadn't expected Kankri to be so forward so quickly.

He hadn't realized he was mumbling until Kankri said, "I have a lot of catching up to do, you understand," matter-of-factly.

Oh, Cronus understood. And certainly was not complaining.

He kicked his leg over Kankri, straddling him. He gave a hungry grin. "Just tell me when to stop."

"No."

Cronus's pupils blew wide when he said that. He ran his tongue over his teeth, hungry. It was time to eat.

He captured Kankri's lips, holding his wrists above his head with one hand while the other snaked its way up his shirt. His skin felt so hot against his cold hands. Kankri gasped at the temperature difference, arching up ever so slightly.

Cronus sucked large, dark marks onto his neck. Kankri would later yell at him about how he would have to wear a turtleneck. If Cronus has his way, there wouldn't be a day that goes by that Kankri doesn't need a turtleneck.

Cronus sat back, admiring the trail of hickeys he left in his wake. Kankri looked blissed out already. It was so cute, not to mention how incredibly hot he looked like that. He could get used to seeing that kind of face. 

Wasting no time, he pulled off both of their shirts. Kankri's skin was perfect. He ran his fingers over his chest, squeezing his pert nipples. Kankri arched up into his touch. "A-again," he wheezed.

Cronus, ever the servant, obliged him. He leaned down, taking one of the buds into his mouth. His tongue swirled around it as he sucked hard. He rolled the other between his fingers. Kankri was a blubbering mess.

"Ya like when I suck on ya tits?"

Kankri blinked down at him. "Cronus, what?"

Cronus flushed. "Ah, sorry, I was just trying dirty talk. Not good?"

Kankri rolled his eyes and chuckled. He pulled Cronus up for a kiss. When he pulled away, he whispered close to his ear. "I like it."

A shiver ran down Cronus's spine. He was learning a lot about Kankri today. And so was Kankri because he even surprised himself with that.

Cronus held Kankri's waist in his hands. He was so small, he could almost wrap them completely around. His dick stirred with interest at the flurry of dirty images that came to mind with that realization.

Kankri bit his lip to hold in his noises when Cronus returned to playing with his chest. It felt so good. He had never even touched himself before, leaving his body all the more sensitive to Cronus's ministrations.

He pressed hot kisses down his torso, tongue lapping at the dips of his body. His hands were moving slowly up and down Kankri's legs, a soothing motion. As they went further up, fingers brushing the inside of his thighs, Kankri's dick pressed uncomfortably against his pants. 

Cronus must have noticed his discomfort because he reached up to the hem of his pants. He paused, looking up at Kankri for permission. He nodded his head, dropping it back against the pillows as Cronus wiggled him free. He lifted his hips a little to help with the process.

He groaned when he was free of his restraints. Cronus moaned when he saw what Kankri was working with. "You're so fucking sexy, Kanny." 

Kankri hissed when Cronus wrapped his hand around the base. Cronus kissed his stomach. "It's okay, I'll go slow."

Kankri nodded. His breath came out in shallow puffs, his whole body vibrating from the feeling of Cronus's hand moving up and down at a painful pace. Every time he reached the tip, he would twist his wrist just so. It was driving Kankri crazy.

Their lips pressed together. Cronus pushed his tongue into Kankri's mouth. They moaned in unison at the taste of the other. Kankri curled his fingers into Cronus's hair, pulling a grunt of approval from him. So, Kankri pulled harder. From where Cronus sat, his boner pressed into Kankri's leg, and he could feel it get harder each time he gave a tug. 

A whimper escaped him when Cronus withdrew his hand, quickly placated by a hot kiss. It was all tongue and teeth, mashing together in a mad desperation to get closer and taste everything they could get to. 

Kankri hadn't noticed Cronus digging in his drawer until it was slammed shut and a bottle was popped open. He leaned back, trying to focus on what he was holding. 

"This'll make it easier, trust me, babe." 

Kankri made an all too embarrassing noise at the name. He hid his face. 

"Hey, don't do that." Cronus nipped at the back of Kankri's hands. He spread his fingers to peek at him. Cronus smiled softly down at him. "You're so fucking cute, I can't wait to fuck you stupid."

Kankri nearly came right then and there. "Hurry up, then," he rasped.

For a moment, Cronus's teeth looked sharp, like a shark's. He nudged Kankri's legs wider.

His nerves must have been plain as day on his face because Cronus was swooping down and showering him with kisses and reassurances. "It'll hurt only for a little," a kiss, "then you'll feel real good."

Kankri gave a small nod, spreading his legs nice and wide for Cronus. He took one of Kankri's hands in his own, squeezing it tight. He slowly pushed the first finger in.

Kankri's face scrunched up. Cronus stopped, whispering sweet words into his ear to help him relax. He told him how beautiful he was, how good he looked, how much he liked him. He told him he had been dreaming about this for a long time and had a million and one ways of wanting to screw him.

Kankri shivered. His fingers were tangled into the loose waves of his hair. He pulled hard when Cronus' first finger was fully inside. Even with just one finger, he felt so full. The room swirled around them while they remained still, tied up with one another. It was perfect.

Kankri threw his head back when Cronus inserted the second finger. The stretch burned so good. Cronus pumped his fingers in and out, taking his time until Kankri was clawing at his back, begging for more.

How happy he would be to oblige.

He withdrew his hand and made short work of the rest of his clothing. Kankri sat up on his elbows, eyes widening when he saw how big Cronus was. A prideful chuckle. "Like what ya see?" He dropped a wink. Kankri chewed his lip and nodded. Cronus purred approvingly.

He squirted a healthy amount of lube onto the palms of his hand and covered his dick generously.

Kankri laid back, allowing Cronus to adjust him as he lined himself up. 

"Don't hold your breath."

Kankri exhaled right as Cronus pushed inside. His jaw dropped at the sudden fullness. If this was just the tip, Kankri was in for a hell of a time.

His nails dug into Cronus's back. Small crescents indents eventually gave way to small beads of blood. Cronus didn't even seem to notice. 

They took their time, kissing and touching each other everywhere they could. When Cronus bottomed out, he pressed his forehead against Kankri's shoulder. Kankri's vision swam in front of him. He was barely able to focus. Things were moving very fast and he didn't care. He had been denying himself for so long, all of his feelings rushed out from the floodgates.

He wanted Cronus even closer. He managed to hook one leg on his hip, pushing him deeper. Cronus groaned at the feeling.

"Kanny, you're gonna make me go crazy," he panted.

"So go crazy."

Cronus looked up at Kankri who looked back at him, eyes clouded with lust and pleasure. A little bit of drool was running down the side of his face. Cronus ran his tongue along the trail, humming at the taste of Kankri. "You asked for it." He grabbed the back of Kankri's legs and placed them over his shoulders. Kankri hadn't realized how flexible he was until Cronus kissed him, effectively bending him in half. 

Cronus grabbed fistfuls of the sheets beneath them and started up a merciless pace. With each hard thrust, stars were exploding in Kankri's vision. He could barely make any noise. He lay there, slack jawed and cross eyed, as Cronus fucked into him. The sound of their skin connecting filled the room. Cronus was grunting in his ear, telling him how good he felt, how sexy he was, how he couldn't wait to fuck him in every way he could. Kankri fumbled around for a moment before his hands found Cronus's face. He held it, pressing their foreheads together. 

Cronus kissed his face, his lips, his neck, any place he could get his mouth on. Kankri's chest was now covered with dark marks, sure to bruise a pretty purple. 

Kankri kept begging for Cronus to go harder, faster, give him more and more. Cronus did his best to keep up with demands, panting heavily as he fucked Kankri at a bruising speed. 

Then, he found Kankri's prostate.

Kankri's vision went completely white. He was arching his back off the bed, mouth hanging open in a silent scream as he came all over the both of them.

A wild look overcame Cronus and he sat up. "Ffffuck, babe, you're so fucking," he grabbed Kankri's hips and slammed them down to meet his thrusts, "hot!" Now that he knew where Kankri's sweet spot was, he kept hitting it over and over. 

Kankri was blabbering nonsense, overstimulated until he was practically brain dead. His arm reached over him, holding onto the pillow beneath him for dear life.

Sweat ran down the back of Cronus's neck. His hips had long ago started to hurt, but Kankri felt so good squeezing his dick while he came, he wanted him to do it again.

Tears were running down either side of Kankri's face. His eyes couldn't focus on anything, sliding around the room in a daze. He felt the same building sensation in his stomach he did before. He weakly tried to tell Cronus, tapping on his arm but Cronus wasn't paying attention. His eyes looked so dark, only a small ring of blue left. He was so beautiful....

Kankri gasped softly. His body convulsed as he came again, clamping down on Cronus's cock. Cronus let out a series of curses before slamming deep inside and coming. A long, low moan left him. All Kankri could do was pant in ecstasy as he was filled to the brim.

Cronus collapsed on top of Kankri, knocking the little air he had out of him. He didn't mind.

His arms were like spaghetti. He couldn't wrap them around Cronus no matter how hard he tried. 

He whimpered pathetically when Cronus eventually pulled out and rolled over. He chuckled at him. "C'mere." He shifted onto his side and held Kankri close. His body was so warm and sticky, their skin stuck together.

Nothing could have made Kankri happier

\---

Karkat looked up from his phone at the sound of the door opening and closing. Kankri wobbled in, freezing in his tracks when he saw Karkat.

"I-I thought you'd be asleep."

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Jesus fuck, Kankri." He turned away from his brother, returning his focus to his phone. 

Kankri toed off his shoes and placed them neatly beside his bed. He tugged off his sweater and tossed it in the laundry. He made a mental note to do it tomorrow, but his body was too sore to even think about it now. 

Kankri looked up at Karkat. He chewed his lip. "Karkat, I just wanted to say--"

"Look, it's fin--JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, KANKRI!" Kankri jumped back in surprise. "What did you let him do to you!?"

Kankri couldn't help but laugh. 

**Author's Note:**

> i love my boys so much, i hope it was palpable.  
> i really hope you enjoyed it! i know it's not great, but lol 💁🏻 if u did like it, it would mean so much to me if u left a comment!  
> THANK YOU FOR READING!!


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